Monday, June 10, 2013

Letting go

This past weekend Chris and I headed to Seattle to visit with his terminally ill Aunt.  I can't say we had a nice time, we didn't.  It was difficult seeing someone so broken with no chance of recovery, the place was full of the forgotten and dying.  I don't ever want to end up like that.  To make matters worse Chris has had tummy issues for over a week now and needs to see a doctor.  I'm hoping it's just his nerves.  I had also tried to meet up with Bella, as that would have been a highlight but she was feeling under the weather and could not hang out.  Why am I even doing a post?  This is all negative and who wants to read that?  
 I'm not happy right now.  I'm thinking about death, being far away from my own family and all sorts of nasty grown up people things.  Families and friends grow up and move on,  that's just the way life is.  The separation still hurts and the emptiness is very real.
I find myself missing what I know is gone in so many things right now.  Do you know that feeling?  Its heavy and I need to let it go.
Perspectives are easily changed and I had to share something with you that has me smiling and feeling some much needed love.  I had emailed the managing editor Marjorie Skinner at the Portland Mercury about doing a guest blog post on Kiss Me Kitty leggings.  Guess what?  She did the most wonderful post on KMK leggings.  Check it out here.  

So you see I am trying to be positive in my new rainbow dress and let go of some things that are not things at all~ they are people.  


Rose&Bird said...

Krista, sorry to hear you're feeling down, sending you a big hug and hoping you're back to your usual bright self soon. Great news about the KMK piece x

Rose&Bird said...

PS sending best wishes to Chris as well x

Jane George said...

sending hugs and love and can i just say (although it sounds a bit shallow but nevertheless i will say it anyway) if you are going to feel down do it in friggin awesome style in a rainbow you girl...keep smiling xxxxx

Nat said...

My heart feels heavy for you... not a good time for you at the moment. So sorry to learn about Chris's aunt - it is a very horrible thing to face, losing a loved one or knowing they will soon be gone.
A huge hug from me to you xx

Vix said...

Darling, life can be utter shit that's why we have to live for each and every moment and enjoy each day we wake up fit, well and alive 'cos we don't know what's around the corner. Look fabulous, embrace life, surround ourselves with lovely people and stop wasting time wishing for stuff we may never attain. I hope Chris's auntie has experienced lots of great things in her life that she can reflect upon.
Tell Chris not to put it off any longer and get to the doctor.
You look an utter vision and I'm delighted Cristi is getting the recognition she deserves, the article was fantastic and you are the best friend ever for making it happen.
I'm pissed, I'm rambling and I need to go to bed.Lets speak soon!
Love you! xxxxxx

PinkCheetahVintage said...

You look colorful and radiant. Life is full of heavy stuff. Acknowledging it is the first step to really accepting and dealing and then moving on. Everyday is not lollipops and unicorns (although that's what you LOOK like!).
These heavy times are the moments in which we achieve gravity and depth. As an artist, I'm sure you can appreciate that somewhat. I don't consider that stuff negative. I consider it deep.
Becky <3

Meghan Edge said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through tough times! I hope that some of the negativity in your life leaves soon. You're too brightly colored and wonderful to feel down ;-) I just wanted to tell you I love your outfit, and I really love your necklace, and HUGS.

Anonymous said...

I was available but never heard from you. So sorry to hear it was not a pleasant time. Death is inevitable and a glorious thing for the person who leaves here. At least it's some kind of consolation. But the rest of us are left with such sadness and so many questions.

thorne garnet said...

sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. Some times being a grown up sucks.

Anne said...

Yes, feeling down from time to time is a very common thread of life. I know it all too well. It is nice having a blog that introverted folks can interact with others who might be feeling some of the same ways. I don't really think you seem like much of an introvert but maybe when you are down, you are less extroverted than usual and it is nice to have company on your own time.

I am very happy to see Cristi's leggings in the Mercury! That is very thrilling!

I very much enjoy your colorful blog.

Heather said...

Sorry about all that with Chris's Aunt I can empathize in the winter when I visited my grandmother I realized it was probably going to be the last time I would see her. And I was nothing short of a basket case! Probiotics might be helpful with whatever tummy problems Chris is having it certainly wouldn't hurt. And the magazine article looked great!! Sometimes we need to stew a little we were given emotions for a reason we're not robots right!! But with that said I hope your feeling chipper again soon. Love Heather

Melanie said...

Yes, we will read the negative stuff too. The fact that you still exude sunshine in your clothing at least shows your deep optimism that shall surely get you through this tough time. Suck up those sunny rays. And you are truly an angel for KMK. No wonder you radiate.

two squirrels said...

Oh sweet......I feel so sad for can be one big bag of poo sometimes. Seeing someone who has come to a time when there body is letting go is so hard and just heartbreaking. I hope she can look back on a life well lived and feel that she has touched many lives.
Thats what you must remember you are touching many peoples lives each time you post yourself here.......seeing a beautiful Krista is like a ray of sunshine. Take care and do something crazy happy for yourself.
hugs to you and family. love V

freckleface said...

Oh yes, the grown up stuff is hard isn't it? And seeing someone in that state is awful, so very upsetting. It's no wonder you feel down. You wouldn't be a compassionate, empathetic person if you didn't.

One of my mantras is 'just keep going', because sometimes that's all you can do until things feel a bit better.

Sending you love. xxxx

Trees said...

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time Krista, we all have ups and downs...but I like that you took the bad feelings and turned it into something positive by getting a blog post up for those fabulous leggings. Try & keep on smiling:)

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you are not feeling happy, I understand what you and Chris are going through and that your trip to Seattle didn't have any positive surprises. But I think that to cope with pain sometimes really could help to apprecciate more what we have than happiness.
I'm glad for the Kiss me Kitty post and it's so good that you are helping Cristi, she really deserves a lot of success, I know that I always write this but I'm a really big fan of both of you!
Keep on smiling!

Anonymous said...

Big love and hugs. I know the feelings well that you speak of. It's a struggle of the mind and heart because you mind wants to change if but you're heart knows it's not possible. When these difficult times come I've learnt that the hard I fight them and try and make sense if them and trying and out them ina spot, the worse it gets. I find just let feelings and emotions come and go like the ebbs and flows of the the ocean and it's waves is the best to finding the other side and understanding and acceptance.

Despite the way you are feeling right now, you look utterly amazing in that amazing dress of rainbow. Just keep doing what you're doing in those pics......stand in the light, you'll find your way and your happy. X

Miss Magpie said...

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low, it's very easy to get caught up in the negative stuff sometimes isn't it?
I try to be a Pollyanna and think of 2 happy things to every bad one.

Chin up chick and I hope you are feeling more your usual sunny self soon.

pastcaring said...

We know you are a bright and positive person, Krista, but everyone, even the brightest and the most cheerful, have times when the shine is tarnished and feelings are sad. It's absolutely fine for you to share if you feel that way; we're your friends, we're not going anywhere! You still manage to radiate beauty and colour and warmth, in the midst of feeling blue.
Hope Chris gets himself checked out and feels better soon. Well done for helping to promote Cristi's business.
Remember how many people love you, and allow the sad feelings to be for a while - then they will pass.
Love you! xxxxx

Anonymous said...


We are all here for you, no matter what. This community, our "tribe", are here to support each other, no matter what.

I'll be sending up a prayer for Chris--that it's just nerves or stress.

That is AWESOME about KMK!! Cristi will be ruling the legging world!!

I ADORE your new rainbow dress--it it just so YOU!!

Rub Peetee's belly a bit--i know that his sweet self will make you feel better!!

I may have some exciting news tomorrow--going tonite to meet some new friends of the furry persuasion!!

love and kisses

Bella Q said...

Up or down, you are always beautiful. I was so bummed that I didn't get to meet with you- I laid around most the day- didn't feel good at all! I am so aorry you and Chris have to deal with death and dying. I know it's something we all have to face, but it never gets easier. Heartbreak is heartbreak.

You in your rainbow dress are a joy- what a beautiful reminder of the promise- no matter how hard things are at the moment there is always a silver lining. Love and light to you.

liz said...

I have a funeral to attend myself this weekend, so I get it, babes. On the bright side, THAT DRESS! Oh mannnn. Love it. Crave it.

Miss Simmonds Says said...

I'm hoping you're feeling a bit better now and you're soaking up some mood lifting sunshine. Your thoughts on things changing remind me of the poem "Into my heart an air that kills" by A E Housman, ok it's a bit depressing but I think you'll relate to it. I do love your dress, from all those beautiful colours your wearing I'd never guess you were feeling low. I really hope you're not, can you give Peetee a squeeze? When I visited my Nana in a place like that it was such a terrible shock I had to run out of the room and cry, so I know how it can make you feel. On the bright side, you look gorgeous and the weekend isn't too far away! If you see Cristi, thank her for the lovely comment she left, I don't know how to get hold of her. Stay beautiful! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

beckynot said...

Sorry things are sad, but it's a good outfit!

mrs.c said...

Holy shit that dress is ace! Sad things can fuck off when ya have that rockin dress and leggings!

Misfits Vintage said...

Yep, that's sad, and grown up and real and awful. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your sadness and your family's sadness and for Chris' aunty. I would hug you and hold you and cry with you if I could.

You look amazing. AMAZING. Beautiful and vibrant and spectacularly alive.

Sarah xxx