Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I see stars through the clouds

Perspectives are a powerful aspect of our daily lives and there is a ton of truth to the saying, it's all in how you see things.  This weekend Cristi and I had our usual good time spreading KMK love in Portland.  The sales were not so great but the day was filled with art, food and a mutual adoration of both.  Since this was mainly a show to raise money for Buckman Elementary which is an art school, the kids were selling stuff too.
 I wonder what makes adults give up creating things.

  I think our need to be perfect interferes with our ability to just give something a try.



 This adorable guy shed a tear when his Mama would not buy these for his Nana.
 Check out these kittens:)
We had some delicious donuts to start the day.  
 The KMK rail:)
Some of what I bought.
I fell in love with this print from Andrew, you can find his stuff here.  It looks killer with the new paint huh!  These boxes were made by a 3rd grader.
 same with this fat horse.
 Which inspired me to make this on Sunday.
Getting back to perspective, yesterday I went with my Dad to his doctor appointment.  I listened to one of my favorite cd's on the drive over, Blind Melon's self titled one.  I filled myself up with as much sunshine as the drive allowed.  It was a gorgeous day filled with a mix of sun and rain and rainbows.

Once we arrived, the doc walked in and said nice to meet you Phil I have been keeping an eye on you since last July when doc ??? talked about your rare case at a seminar.  It turns out my Dad is the ONLY documented case of Merckel Cell Carcinoma in someone who is HIV+.   It was funny when the nurse asked my Dad how he got HIV (living in San Francisco in the 80's DUH!) We let the moment quietly pass but I know we were both thinking it. We sat close to each other and listened to the doctor and both of us asked questions.  She wanted to start an aggressive chemo treatment and my Dad said no thank you.  He wants QUALITY of life not QUANTITY.   He teared up a bit and said he was curious about death and that he is happy to have lived this long.  That was a tough moment filled with love and fear and all kinds of letting go.  

....then we went out for dinner because that's what you do.  You keep on keeping on and you choose to feel the sunshine and see the rainbows.

17 comments:

Tamera Wolfe said...

Your Dad sounds like an awesome guy!! May whatever time he has is pain-free and full of love and joy!!!

How cool that the kids were selling their artwork! It's awesome you were able to score some!! I LOVE fat horse!!!

You and Cristi look adorable as always!!!

LOVE and hugs

Helga! said...

Your Dad ROCKS!!!!
No wonder you do too, it's clearly inherited!
YAY to a grand day out with Cristi! I reckon you are quite right in your thoughts that the need to be perfect interferes with just giving it a try. GUILTY!!!! I stress about getting things "right", and often don't try because I am scared of failure. What a dweeb. Sometimes I can overcome it, and I am always SO happy when I do. I'm working on it!
Love your purchases, most especially the boxes, darling!
Donuts!!! Danger, danger!
Love you!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PinkCheetahVintage said...

I've had that similar moment with my father and a the doctor...
I am kind of obsessed with kid art. It always looks so fantastic to me :)
Those donuts look yum! And your phone case is so kawaii!!

pastcaring said...

You are so right, we keep on keeping on, because what else can we do? Stop? Make all the shit go away? Can't be done, so we face the tough stuff by the side of our loved ones, and do our very best. Your dad is making some really hard, brave choices, isn't he? And you are right there with him. You're wonderful.

Yes, I also agree that fear of failure, being inhibited by a desire for perfection, is a real creativity killer. Young kids just don't have it, do they? They go for it, and the confidence and joy shines through in what they produce. I am the world's worst for saying "I can't" when what I mean is "I don't want to try and then make a balls up and look stupid"! Need to tackle that...

You and Cristi look so fabulous, as always, and I love the prints you chose, both the faces and the fat horse - genius!
Love you - keep seeing rainbows, Krista! xxx

Carina Rosenholm said...

Your dad must be a strong one ! Hope and pray that he gets a lots of good times yet !
That fat horse is so great !
xxx

Beth Waltz said...

Somebody famous wrote that the joys of a lifetime may sometimes be seen in the changing light of a single day. This gift of insight is one you share with your dad, Krista: blessings on you both!

Do wish we could meet the Nana whose grandson fancies her in the mermaid? sequins! No doubt she's a very special lady indeed.

Melanie said...

Your dad is truly inspirational Krista x
Love the kiddy artwork too.

Sandra said...

I think your Dad is a truly remarkable and incredible person.
You are so right about the fear of failure in creating things as an adult, I do it, you have definitely given me something to think about. The children's work is amazing, seriously! those kids are awesome! the kitty painting is beautiful - the leggings the little boy picked for his Nana are fab! maybe Nana has spoken about colourful pieces with him, I love that his Nana deserves silver sequin leggings! I bet she rocks!
You gals look gorgeous and I am crushing over your dirndl! x x x

señora Allnut said...

dear lady, wish you lots of sunshine and rainbows!
besos & amor

Vix said...

Respect to Phil. What a guy. The only person in the world to have that cancer and setting the president for how to deal with it. He'll be an inspiration for others for ever now.
Love your art and Fat Horse makes me smile. You found some great stuff and it looked like you had a blast with Cristi despite the slow sales. That dirdnl rocks!
You're right about the kid art and the pressure we put on ourselves in the pursuit of perfection. We're our worst critics.
Love you! xxxxxxx

Ariane Lasalle said...

Your Dad is very courageous, i admire him, if something like that happens to me i hope to be able to deal with it like he does -
About your question, why do we give up doing art? and yes you had the answer, we try to be perfect - Art is not about being perfect it all about how you feel and letting go this is why art therapy is so successful in dealing with inner feelings -

Take care of yourself Krista

Big hugs

Arianexo

Forest City Fashionista said...

I love this post Krista, so much good stuff here. Your Dad sounds like a pretty awesome guy with a very good perspective on his situation. I'm all for the "quality over quantity" with regard to your life. All we can do is keep moving forward, keep on going, and be sure to notice the happy things in between the bad ones.

I often wondered what happened to all my creative impulses - I was always drawing or writing stories when I was a kid, and then stopped when I left home. I think your observation is true, that we allow the perfectionist to take over and ruin the fun. I would have loved to have bought the "kitty room" picture or the red haired girl portrait. I love the fat horse!

Miss Magpie said...

You're Dad sounds amazing, what an inspiration. I hope his attitude is of comfort to you, I can't begin to think how hard it must be for you.


The black kitty and the fat horse are fab, just looking at them makes me smile.

freckleface said...

You two sure are brave. It's great that you are finding such strength in each other. Yep, keep on keeping on. That 's all we can do. One of my mantras is 'just keep going'.
All of that artwork is so inspiring. I'll take joyful over cool or perfect any day, in fact really cool artists just bore me. Love the dirndl!!! Your friendship with cristy is so lovely. Xxxxxxx

Tammy McGill said...

Aw, just reading that last part makes me tear up. :( You always find a reason to smile tho and that's inspiring. Xoxo

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

I'm gobsmacked at Phil's bravery and strength Krista. He's had a potentially terminal illness hanging over his head for more than 30 years and this is such a difficult time for you both. And he's clearly thought long and hard about this decision he's had to make. It's never, ever easy and I'm so sorry MCC has snuck up on him.
Your advice for me to paint has stuck with me these past couple of days, I really want to do it. Another friend recommended starting with oil pastels and of course our local god damn shitty art supply shop has none. For now. Your pics of the kids' glorious art works has inspired me even more ... how could anyone resist wanting to paint, draw, plant or glue something?!! Thank you for this beautiful post, I hope the weekend brings you sunny skies and mild days. Iwannamakesomefuckingawesomeartwithyou. xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

Natalia Lialina said...

You are all sunshine and rainbows yourself, Krista!